September 13, 2015

Cold Restaurant

Nadai Fujisoba Restaurant

You are tapping your shoes on the ground more times than the usual. You are starting to fidget on the unused napkin laying cleanly beneath the spoon and fork.

"I can't do this anymore." is all that's playing in your head. It feels like insincere kisses from a cherry chapsticked mouth, an ugly photograph of a sweet old memory, an "I love you but--" after a wonderful day together.

And deep inside, you think to yourself...

"How did she managed to say that to me?"
"Had she forgotten?"


That moment in the car when you just left the museum, she looked into your eyes and whispered, "You're the most beautiful thing I've seen today."

Or that moment when she sneaked to your apartment at 3 AM on your 20th to wake you up with a kiss and a happy birthday,

Or that day at McDonald's when she first touched your face and said, "God. Did you feel that?"

Or even that night when she deleted your every copy of HIMYM because she thinks you have no time for her anymore. You both ended up asleep. Angry. But in each other's arms.

All the memories, may it be good or bad, started squeezing in your head but nothing is louder than those 5 words she said 2 minutes ago.

You look at her.
She's not crying.

She's looking at you straight as you try to wipe away the never-ending flow of tears. She used to cry harder than you do. She used to wipe your tears for you no matter how upset she is.

She used to, but not now.
Not at this moment.
Not ever.

And that's when you realized she's done.

She doesn't want to be with you anymore.

8 comments

  1. So painful. Such is reality.
    Beautifully written <3

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  2. wow this is so beautifully sad <3
    -nymisha @ sarcastically aesthetic

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  3. Hey Yanni! How have you been? I miss reading your blog posts, feels like its been a while since you've posted.
    I love what you've written too I remember reading it and had to reread it again!

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    Replies
    1. Aww Vanessa! I am, honestly, so touched with your message!!! :) I've been very very busy with school, but I'll try to catch up now since it's our Christmas vacation already. Take care! Thanks again :)

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  4. This was written so beautifully!

    xo,

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com/

    ReplyDelete

Don't let anything burn your heart out.